Getting a divorce is an experience like nothing else. It has its own rules and laws that should not be ignored. As couples try to navigate the tricky waters of divorce, some common mistakes can cost them big time in terms of money, time, personal well-being, and the well-being of the children. Be sure to avoid these common mistakes during your divorce.
Don’t Make Important Choices While Depressed
Depression is a terrible decision-maker. According to Psychology Today, sadness can influence you in ways that make you more likely to settle. When you make important life choices while you are in the middle of a bout of depression, you are likely to regret them. If possible, wait to make choices about your divorce until you feel better.
Don’t Agree to Anything Before Consulting Your Lawyer
Some savvy aspiring divorcees manipulate soon-to-be exes into agreeing to unfair things while they are vulnerable. Don’t be a victim to your ex’s whims. Never agree to anything regarding the divorce or child custody before you consult your lawyer about the issue at hand. Your attorney helps you make choices that are in your best interests throughout the divorce.
If your ex pressures you to agree to something, stand your ground. Let your ex know that you will not decide in the moment and explain when you will get back to them. If your ex persists, repeat what you said and step away. Don’t engage in a debate or allow yourself to be vulnerable to your ex’s demands. It’s okay to hang up a phone or leave the house.
Don’t Wait for the Right Moment
If you decide that divorce is inevitable, don’t wait for after a holiday or when you feel the moment is just right. Once you decide that you need to divorce, talk to a lawyer and proceed. Unless your lawyer reveals a reason to wait because of your individual circumstances, proceed whenever you decide to divorce.
Don’t Allow Blurred Boundary Lines
Set clear boundaries with your ex when you go through a divorce. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean that you can’t be friendly with your ex, and you may end up being real friends as you co-parent your children. However, boundaries help you get there. If you compromise them to please your ex, you are sure to regret it.
Establish clear boundaries as soon as you start the divorce process. Decide how much or how little you want to communicate with your ex. If you only want to contact them when it’s necessary for co-parenting matters and decisions about the divorce, that’s okay. Just be sure to communicate your boundaries clearly and don’t back down on them.
Don’t Trash Your Ex or Share Divorce Details With the Children
Some exes get so angry at each other and want the kids to know about what a deadbeat the other parent is. That is always the wrong thing to do. While you need to protect the children from your ex in certain situations such as suspected abuse, trashing the other parent to your kids isn’t in the best interest of the children.
Also, avoid giving your children too many dirty details about the complexities of your divorce. They don’t need to know about infidelities, financial mistakes, and other details that paint your ex in a negative light. Instead, reassure children about the love that both parents have for them. Also reassure children that both you and your ex will continue to be there for them.
Finally, contact a divorce attorney as early in the divorce process as possible. In fact, it’s best to seek the advice of a lawyer when you first start considering the possibility of a divorce. Contact The Madden Law Firm Attorneys At Law with any questions and concerns you have about your divorce.
